Crying Like a Big Pussy in the Back of a Cab on Election Night...

What a night. I cried and cried on the cab ride home from my show over at the comedy club last night after hearing the news. Muttering over and over to myself in disbelief and utter gratitude “thank God, thank God, thank God …that rapture cunt will not have her fundamentalist finger anywhere near the red button!”…Oh and Obama will be the 44^th President of the United States too.  I love this fucking country!!!

The collective energy was incredible.  People were beating bongo drums, dancing in the streets, bursting into tears, making out, showing their tits, bellowing at the top of their lungs “Obammmaaaa!!!”  Its like the entire country won the World Series…and we were the Cubs.  In NYC I feel the intensive unity I experienced on 9/11, except instead reverberating from death and mourning, it radiates from joy, hope and celebration.  We did it. We applied the brakes and prevented the complete decimation of our great nation. 

For weeks all I had to do was see a picture of John McCain and I would grow furious.  Alone in my apartment I would scream at the computer screen “How dare you! How dare you put our country in such danger? You son of a bitch asshole!!!”  His blatant political pandering, by choosing Sarah Palin to unify the right wing fundamentalist base to do his bidding (they are to the Republican get out the vote movement what Muslims who blow themselves to smithereens in the name of Allah are to Al-Qaeda.), scared me to the core of my being.  That he was willing to put forward an extremist Third Wave movement disciple, ex-beauty contest runner up and graduate from the University of Idaho (6 years in the making after attending 4 other colleges previously) for broadcast journalism (a fucking radio DJ!!!) for political expediency was unthinkable to me and I still do not forgive him…and will never forgive him no matter how gracious his concession speech was.  He further cheapened the political process by virtually completing what many have called the American Idolization of politics.  Like in his personal life with the estrangement from his first wife (who had suffered a horrendous car crash while he was residing in the Hanoi Hilton but none the less waited faithfully for his return) he abandoned what was true for a trophy (from Cindy McRich Bitch to Sarah Palin). In what would have been the ultimate transformation of Washington into Hollywood, he angled for the tits and ass demographic.  He thought titties and ass would get him green lit into the White House.  Beyond cynicism or savvy this was both dangerous and disrespectful to the country he had faithfully served.  Both he and his operatives are guilty for overestimating just how dumb or oblivious the majority of the American populous was and hopefully will pay for it in the years to come.  I hope he awakens every morning to the bitter aftertaste of his compromised ideals and betrayal.

It’s a new world.  The next generation is at the helm and the country is growing into the great nation we have always claimed to be.  There is a story circulating on the Internet about an Obama canvasser who came to the door and asked a woman who she was voting for in this election, only before the lady could respond her Redneck husband yelled from next room “We’re voting for the Nig*er !!!”  Oddly enough I think this is evidence that our country is evolving, even the po dunk slugs that don’t believe in evolution.  Racists are re-evaluating their value systems and making choices that go against their previously held dispositions.  It’s incredible.

I myself canvassed in Germantown PA with my lovely girlfriend of 9 years and saw Obama speak at a rally.  It was magical not so much cause of his speech but because of the multitudes and the energy, the hope and the unity, the love and shared vision of a better future.  There are images I will never forget. A little black girl on a white man’s shoulders so she could get a better glimpse of her new role model (see photo above) and most spectacularly about 5 or 6 kids who had climbed up in a tree to see him from their very own urban fairy tale perch.  I met some incredible people.  One very old black veteran who unlocked his thick glass paned door so we could hear about his experience in the original Great Depression waiting in the bread lines.  He told us that “back then business men were jumping out of windows to take their lives…not today though…today they have golden parachutes!”

I believe that in times of desperation human beings are capable of truly great or horrendous actions and that on this November 4, 2008 our country chose to blossom rather than decay, to celebrate life and hope rather than remain quagmired in death and fear, to courageously look forward to a new future instead of frantically grasping a fading outgrown past. 

And now I’ll say it…for the first time in my adult life I am proud to be an American…just don’t tell Sean Hannity.